Quiet Knowing

A sliver of orange sunset slips between dark clouds over a deep blue ocean.

Personal Reflection: Quiet Knowing

For those who knew me before 2024, there were about four months at the end of 2023 when I kept saying, “I don’t know yet, but I’ll know in January.” This was my response to questions about the future. At the time, I was in a wonderful teaching position, loving my students and team, but still felt like something was just a click or two away from alignment. I was exploring next steps by taking part in the principal pipeline (preparing for a potential administration role) while also knowing I had an interest in returning to instructional coaching. What I knew most deeply was that the following year, I wouldn’t be working directly with students.

There was no loud sense of “I can’t do this anymore.” It was simply a quiet knowing, one that arrived on the first day of school. I had a sense that it would be the last first day of school for me in this context. So, in the midst of both knowing and not knowing, I adopted the mantra, “I’ll know in January.”

That knowing arrived on December 31, 2023. It wasn’t a dramatic moment, it was just a quiet knowing that Belize was the next step. Sometimes, I look back through my communications from that time, trying to pinpoint the exact moment of realization, but it doesn’t exist. It wasn’t a flash of insight, it was just a calm, clear certainty that emerged.

Now, a year and a half later, I find myself in a similar cycle of reflection with a new knowing. For the past month or so, I’ve been saying, “I don’t know yet, but I’ll know in September.” In September, I’ll mark one year in Belize and will be eligible to apply for residency. And, for the last few months, I’ve felt distinctly unclear about what might follow. Until last Sunday, when the knowing arrived: I need to go back to the U.S. at the end of September. No pros/cons list, no deep deliberation—just a quiet knowing.

Since, I’ve struggled to impose a “how,” a “why,” and a “when” on this beautiful knowing. I’m learning a new way of being, and sometimes learning something new requires a few repetitions. I know it would bring me peace to have the details, but I trust that what’s right for me will flow naturally, as it always does.

As I cycle through this new opportunity to relearn this lesson, I’m making intentional choices about how to show up. I’m leaning into trust, curiosity, and expansion. I’m showing up fully for the moments I’m in right now. My time here in Belize has been filled with healing, growth, challenge, and magic. The island has been a teacher, guiding me as I’ve dismantled parts of my life, removed what no longer serves me, and started rebuilding from a stronger foundation. I know that this next chapter will ask me to do this again, and I’m deeply grateful for another opportunity to practice.

Nervous System Love in Times of Uncertainty

When we’re navigating uncertainty, my #1 recommendation is to help your body find a parasympathetic state. The discomfort of uncertainty doesn’t have to disappear for you to feel calm in your body. You can still be in the experience of discomfort AND helping your body relax. This might look like engaging in creative expression (art, music, etc.), deep breathing, meditation, dance, exercise, or even a full-body shake.

Sometimes, it’s as simple as rolling your shoulders down your back, unclenching your jaw, and reminding yourself that you are safe. In times of uncertainty, we don’t have to also suffer in our bodies. A relaxed, expansive body also creates more space for guidance and alignment to emerge.

If this resonates for you, I would love to hear more about how you are staying with yourself in times of uncertainty and getting to know your own quiet knowing. Sending love to all of you as you navigate whatever is unfolding in your life right now.

With so much love, 

Hannah Podschun

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